Finding Freedom through Chronic Pain

One of the most elusive and difficult conditions to bear and treat is chronic pain. In this article I refer to three forms of chronic pain physical, emotional/mental and existential/spiritual. These three forms are similar in quality, in that they torture and can lead to despair. They are however dissimilar in distractibility as you move from the physical to the mental and finally the existential form, it gets easier to find ways of distracting yourself from the pain. In other words, physical chronic pain is the form that is most in your face, inescapable and hard to find distraction from. In an ironic twist of logic, of the three forms it is therefore also the most efficient teacher of awareness. As you read on, you will therefore see me focus on physical chronic pain.

Pain is radically subjective and therefore invisible to direct observation. Only its ripple effects become visible: a bad mood, unhappiness and possibly dysfunctionality; an inability to cope, facial distortions and lamentation as the expression of suffering. Depending on a persons attitude towards their chronic pain it can become exhausting to be around them, because one feels so powerless to help. One then tends to withdraw, and the person in pain feels like a burden and also withdraws, which creates social isolation as a secondary problem. Often people with chronic pain are not understood or believed, and sometimes even seen as faking and malingering. In children with chronic pain conditions it can even go so far as to put honest and caring parents into situations, in which they are accused of child abuse and their children taken away by the Childrens Aid Society. Chronic pain is awful, because it is relentless and real, yet elusive, difficult to quantify and difficult to treat.

Pain in general can be seen to be experienced along the two dimensions of how treatment-resistant and chronic it is. The less amenable to treatment it is and the longer it lasts, the less subjectively bearable it is and the more mindfulness training becomes important. This means that without mindfulness chronic untreatable pain is sure to cause despair and disability.

Chronic pain picture

Along this ‘bearability spectrum’ we can categorize pain as a way to help us organize our thinking around the issue of mindfulness. The easiest pain to bear is the short-term one we know to be due to an underlying condition that is transient and treatable, such as the pain of breaking a leg. I will call this category 1 pain. A bit more difficult but still bearable is the longer term pain we know to be due to an underlying condition that is treatable, such as certain back pains (category 2). It gets more difficult when the underlying condition cannot be treated and the only way to get rid of the pain is pain medication or operations (category 3), because these pain treatments tend to be only partially effective and have side effects which negatively impact the quality of life. The most difficult situation is the one where not only the underlying condition is not treatable, but the pain itself is also resistant to treatment (category 4). These cases may sometimes belong to a subsection, in which the pain appears to be untreatable because we know little if at all anything about the underlying condition, the underlying condition is not recognized and missed, or access to treatment is difficult or unavailable. In these cases new medical discoveries, increased social awareness of a diseases prevalence and increased medical access to treatment can suddenly move the situation into a more bearable category 1, 2 or 3 pain. An example of this would be the Ehlos-Danlos Syndrome (EDS), which has inspired the work of the ILC foundation. However, just because more insight into the disease through research, more social awareness of its existence and more access to treatment has allowed some children to become pain-free more of the time and has significantly improved their lives, does not mean that they cease to struggle with the impact of this devastating illness and some side effects of treatment.

Pain has a complex physiology that spans a whole spectrum of bodily structures and hormones. Let this paragraph wash over you like a pleasantly warm wave of Caribbean ocean water and dont focus on details. Involved in the production of pain are peripheral receptors everywhere in the body that create signals traveling along attached nerve fibers, which converge in the spinal cord and ascend through the brainstem, the limbic system and the cortex all the way to the most evolved of all brain parts, the master integrator of the whole organism called the medial prefrontal cortex (MPC). At every level along the way multiple parallel interactions and feedback loops between different brain centres and the body participate in the processing of pain and the unleashing of biobehavioral responses that attempt to return the organism back to safety and health. Engaged are not only the neurons of the nervous system with its neurotransmitters (Serotonin, Oxytocin, Acetylcholine, Norepinephrine, Opiates, Dopamine, Histamine just to name a few), but also the hormonal system from brain to body, including the hypothalamus, pituitary and adrenal glands. Among many other hormones they secret Cortisol that affects the whole body, including blood pressure, blood glucose, the immune system, the whole metabolic energy system and the muscular-skeletal system. The glia cells in the brain (outnumbering the neurons by 5-10 times!) as well as the Nitrous Oxide system in the body are also involved in complex ways we are only just beginning to understand.

With chronic pain the organisms attempts to heal often fail and a vicious cycle ensues. The very ways the organism tries to get rid of pain in fact only serve to boost defensive processes that increase tension and further worsen the pain. Pain causes fight, flight and freeze survival responses. The person tenses up as a consequence of the constant barrage of suffering that feels like torture. Distraction is part of such defensive survival responses and often seems to be an effective way of making the pain more bearable, but in the long run the exact opposite happens. The tensions created by avoidance behaviors make the pain only worse as they block the organisms healing potential. As the person becomes increasingly mobilized in an attempt at avoiding increasing pain, the organism gets weakened and stiffened, which only increases the pain further. This is a vicious cycle largely driven by our inbred autopilot reactivity honed over many years of life. In other words, the vicious cycle of chronic pain is nourished by a restricted sense of self-awareness.

What you need to take away from this are just three fundamental principles:
1. Pain is NOT the sensations from receptors in the body or the nerve impulses traveling up the neurons all the way to the cortex. Let me first say it in scientific terms: Pain is an emergent state of embodied self-awareness across the entire neural networks, and it is a re-representation of all the earlier processes of information. In plain language this means that pain is a subjective experience or a state of awareness that arises from the totality of all those nerve impulses across the whole body, but is not those nerve impulses themselves. In other words, pain is not a concrete thing, but a subjective state of self-awareness.
2. The MPC (see above) gives us the ability to modify our states of self-awareness. In the case of mindfulness training, we modify our state of self-awareness from being defined and restricted by autopilot reactivity into the direction of greater presence, which includes more openness to the totality of our human experiences, more acceptance of what is whether we like it or not and more curiosity towards all the ways we construct our reality. Being mindful is thus an expanded state of self-awareness, which is incompatible with autopilot reactivity. It is now hugely interesting to know, but also quite logical, that the mindful state of self-awareness is largely incompatible with the restricted, pain-filled state of self-awareness, since suffering from chronic pain is mostly due to autopilot reactivity. By altering our state of self-awareness we can alter and even extinguish the experience of pain. This means that body receptors may feed the same input signals to the brain like before, but how we experience it all and emotionally relate to it can be so permanently changed that the experience of pain significantly decreases and sometimes even vanishes.
3. Because pain is a state of self-awareness, the issue of awareness is key. Awareness is what gives us the space and freedom of choice. This leads to a paradox: The only way out is the way through. In order to liberate ourselves from the suffering created by pain, the reflex of trying to get away and distract from the pain does not work. Instead, we have to learn to dive right back into the pain and the body, and attend to the full experience of it all in embodied self-awareness. You now probably wonder what embodied self-awareness is?

Embodied self-awareness has to be distinguished from conceptual self-awareness (Alan Fogel, Body Sense). Most people live most of their lives trapped in conceptual self-awareness. This is a more precise way of saying that we live in our heads, caught up in the train of our thoughts we deeply believe in. You are likely quite familiar with the experience of having a pain in your chest and being flooded with thoughts telling you that you . probably have a heart attack / which may kill you / you are too young to die / what a pity / you wont see your grandchildren / when did you last review your will? / you wanted to travel to Borneo before dying / had you only taken more time off 10 years ago when you were in good health / what a mess / you dont want to leave your loved ones / how are they going to cope without you? / you were just in the middle of renovating your cottage and now what will happen? / is the doctor going to be able to save you? / maybe it is not a heart attack, but a lung cancer / if so, could be an early stage / you smoked until 15 years ago / etc. etc. etc. These thoughts completely envelop you and define your sense of self. They are concepts created in the cortex, which is why the resulting state of self-awareness is called conceptual. Without being grounded in embodied self-awareness conceptual self-awareness is extremely limiting and stress-inducing when it stands alone (as it does most of the time for most people). Needless to say, this thought world you are entrapped by causes huge stress, even though it seems to you that all you are doing is problem-solve in order to get out of this situation. You are actually not problem-solving that much at all, but mostly ruminating and getting in the way of real healing.

Embodied self-awareness is very different. You would experience the sensations in your chest in great detail: 3-dimensional size and shape of the sensations; their quality (knifing, burning, searing, throbbing, compressing, etc.); their intensity and the way they change from moment to moment; how far they reach and how they transition into other sensations in the shoulders, the abdomen, the neck etc.; you would differentiate these sensations from those that accompany emotions such as anxiety, sadness, regrets etc.; you would notice the barrage of thoughts and how they threaten to take over, yet you would let them unfold in the background and continue to stay rooted in your body. In embodied self-awareness you would allow the organism to be open to the full spectrum of energy and reality without undue interference, thus maximizing its own healing potential. Once seen by the doctor you would eventually find out that you just had a .. panic attack, and that all your catastrophic thoughts, so well-disguised as rational problem-solving ones you so deeply believed in, were just that thoughts, and not reality. In short, conceptual self-awareness is limiting and toxic when not embedded in embodied self-awareness, and embodied self-awareness is the royal road to mindful self-awareness.

The ILC foundation is rightly so involved in helping children with chronic pain by addressing all angles of pain management. This includes spear-heading research, providing access to treatment, raising awareness of the problem, developing a residential treatment program, and coordinating an encompassing approach to these childrens plight including medication, surgical interventions, familial support, parent involvement, psychological interventions and social accommodations. We could say this: One of these many treatment facets is mindfulness training, both for children and their parents, so that they can all learn to develop the all-important state of embodied self-awareness that is fundamental to mindfulness and so important for healing. We can however also say this: Underlying all problem-solving about and all treatment approaches to chronic pain and illness in general lies a fundamental choice between staying within the limits of what can be done, and opening the gates widely to how our state of being (self-awareness) can so immeasurably enrich and enhance what can be done. This is the choice between staying on autopilot or moving into mindfulness, which astonishingly is often also the choice between no or only slight pain improvement and painlessness.

Before I get to the core issue of mindfulness and pain in this article, let me preempt a frequent misunderstanding that occasionally comes my way. Just because I focus on mindfulness and the aspects of pain management related to it does not mean that I am against medications, operations or any other approaches that help people cope with pain. If competently used with discernment, they are all very worthwhile and part of an encompassing approach to pain. All I am doing here is focus on what I specialize in as people come to me for help with chronic pain. So lets zero in on the core issue of mindfulness and chronic pain.

Some medical practitioners are sometimes so overwhelmed by their patients demand for relief and so desperate to offer something, that treatments are offered (often surgeries) which at best do not improve the situation, at worst make it significantly worse with each further intervention. When the underlying reason for the pain is untreatable, the focus becomes the pain itself, and patients often end up walking around with a whole pharmacy of medications that leaves them drugged, sluggish and too tired to function often with limited results. So then comes the million-dollar question: What if nothing more can be done? What if what has been done so far helps, but you are still left with substantial impediments to a good quality of life because treatments have side effects or because they only partly work? What if pain medication does not work or you dont tolerate it, operations only make things worse and are not an option, and your specialists and medical practitioners politely distance themselves and give up on you, because there is just nothing else they can offer? What if this is as good (or as bad) as it seems to ever get? What if (to put this question into a completely different context) you cannot change your circumstances, the way you cannot change the circumstance of (taxes and) your mortality?

When I sit with some of my patients referred to me by pain clinics and hear their tragic stories, I can sense the emotional relief I represent for the health practitioners who send these patients to me. It is as if they were saying to themselves and their patients: There is nothing else I can offer you just go and see Dr. T and hell do something with you. So here we then sit together, these suffering human beings full of agony and despair, and I, receptacle of these patients projected last hope, bearing my own lifes suffering as we all do, as limited in my knowledge and my ability to offer relief as both my patients and colleagues, having nothing else to offer but my presence. But presence is so unknown to most people. For some patients coming to see me represents the last struggle to hope for something we can do, and when they realize that even with me there is nothing we can do, I can see their final disappointment on their faces, the last hope having just vanished, as if I had just given a dying dog the last kick that sends it over the edge, and they sink into resignation and giving up. Some patients are in this state already the moment they walk through the door into my office. Paradoxically, it is exactly in this final letting go, in this final surrender to impotence on both our parts, patient and healer, that something radically and completely new arises we call presence.

In fact, this is when we begin to explore the difference between resignation and surrender, impotence and getting out of ones own way, ignorance and unknowing. Resignation, impotence and ignorance are states of defeat at the end of the line of what can be done. Surrender, getting out of one’s own way and unknowing are states of vulnerability at the core of the journey to Being. In this moment of transition from doing to being it begins to dawn to my patients that the way to healing is not the way of doing more, but the way of being differently, and this journey towards greater Being involves exactly the opposite of doing, let alone doing more it involves learning to undo and to embrace not knowing in order to make space for something completely new we call wisdom. What is astonishing is to discover over months and years of practice and training in this direction how chronic pain changes, morphs, decreases and eventually even disappears, when we have allowed ourselves to move through paths and regions of Being and Reality that were totally unexpected and unfathomable. If this sounds like voodoo to you, I have good news for you: We are nowadays in a position to scientifically show and explain why mindfulness and dropping into Being has such powerfully healing effects on the human organism. Of course, science cannot explain everything, but many people only find access to the seemingly fuzzy world of Being and the goodies that arise from that when they feel reassured by the relative objectivity of scientific insight.

One last word a word of grounding and realistic perspective: As amazing as the results of mindfulness training can be, as unfathomable as the outcome of practice always is, as hopeful as the journey reveals itself to be, and as profound as the effects of mindfulness are on the body and the mind, please beware: This journey does not follow our rampant contemporary cultural naivet, our tendency to drama and reality shows, and a general human propensity to seek what is fun, fast and easy. If for a moment you allow me to put it in biological terms, the plasticity (ability to change itself and rewire) of our brain and body is not only real, but also slow as compared to our expectations of instant results. To avail ourselves of the power of brain plasticity we are required to engage in steady, committed, longterm practice, combined with a good dose of courage and patience. The formula for success in this area may not be one you relish to hear: Failure plus hard work = success. To put it simply, mindfulness practices are easy, but it is difficult to become the one who practices. This is why we have to work with a good teacher your worst enemy is yourself.

One of my most dedicated meditation students who has moved within the span of 4-5 years from being a disabled, walking pharmacy just about to consider a third back operation for disabling chronic back pain, to living a very different and much improved life style, put it to me this way in a recent email:
Imagine that no meds now for over a year and recently I’ve been waking up occasionally with significantly reduced pain. Seems inexplicable but I know the correct response equanimity, no attachment. A world away from when I was first referred to you. Apart from pain management I have a deeper insight to life and how we should live it. And for that I am very appreciative. And so the journey continues!
He has many moments of painlessness, and when the pain arises, it is not debilitating. As he puts it, this journey is not just about the pain, but about the fact that by changing our state of self-awareness through mindfulness, the pain turns into our teacher of lifes unfathomable mysteries and the gifts are immeasurable.

Copyright 2013 by Dr. Stphane Treyvaud. All rights reserved.

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Four depths down and the medicine of emptiness

Where healing ends in silence

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July 13, 2026

I. The Ladder of Depths

Every complaint a human being brings to another human being, every human exchange can be met at four depths. This is not a metaphor. It is a clinical observation, repeatable across decades of practice, and it has a strange property: the deeper the layer at which the human suffering is met, the less is said, the less is done, and the more is healed. The trajectory of genuine help runs not toward more sophisticated answers but toward the progressive exhaustion of answering itself, combined with deepening mastery of responsibility.

Take the most ordinary of openings, the sentence uttered a thousand times a day in every language: “I feel stressed. I am unhappy and having a hard time coping.” What happens next depends entirely on the depth at which the listener is standing. And here is the experiment this essay proposes: we will answer that same sentence four times, once from each layer, and we will let the language itself betray the depth. For the layers are not merely different techniques – they are different relationships to language, and beneath that, different relationships to the whole person. Each layer addresses a different stratum of the one who suffers: the first addresses her circumstances, the second his thoughts, the third her hidden story, and the fourth the whole organism itself – that living totality of body, brain, history, and awareness which precedes every story told about it. As we descend, words do not simply change their content. They change their function, then their density, and finally their necessity – because what they are addressing grows progressively larger than anything words were built to hold.

II. The First Layer: The World of Advice

“Oh, I know exactly what you mean – I went through the same thing last year. Have you tried getting more sleep? Honestly, that changed everything for me. And you should really take a proper vacation, you’ve earned it. Maybe cut back on the coffee too. My sister swears by yoga – there’s a great studio near you. You’ll get through this. Everyone does.”

That is the friend. The counselor at this same layer sounds different – more disciplined, less autobiographical – but listen to where the inquiry lives:

“Let us look at what is actually happening. When did the stress begin – and what changed around that time? Workload? Sleep? Finances? A relationship? Let us make an inventory of your commitments and sort them: which are truly yours, which could be delegated, which could be dropped. Which sources of pressure are within your control, and which are not? Once we can see the whole picture, we can build a plan – realistic steps, one at a time.”

The counselor has removed himself from the frame – no sister, no yoga studio, no borrowed biography – and this is real professional discipline. The exploration is genuinely investigative: causes are sought, factors are sorted, a plan takes shape. And yet the friend and the counselor stand at exactly the same depth, because the inquiry, however methodical, remains entirely within the concrete, the logical, the practical. Notice what the language of both is doing: it is full. It brims with content – the friend’s content is her own life, the counselor’s content is the inventory and the plan, but content it remains. Its grammatical mood is the imperative softened by kindness or the question aimed at action: try this, sort that, decide this. It treats suffering as a logistics problem – something is misarranged in the person’s circumstances and must be resupplied, rescheduled, reorganized. The person herself is addressed as the manager of her situation, and the whole of her – the body that carries the stress, the history that shaped her way of carrying it, the awareness in which all of it appears – is left standing outside the consulting room. The listener remains entirely within what we might call the world of things: the world of content, of provisions, of arrangements, of more.

The first layer helps, sometimes. But it heals the way a borrowed coat warms – from the outside, temporarily, and in someone else’s size. Even the counselor’s well-tailored plan remains a coat.

III. The Second Layer: The World of Meaning

“Let us look at the thought itself. When you say ‘I am having a hard time coping,’ what is the belief underneath? Perhaps: ‘I should be able to handle this alone,’ or ‘If I cannot cope, I am failing.’ Is that belief accurate? What is the evidence for it, and against it? What would you say to a friend who held it? Could the sentence be reframed – not ‘I am failing to cope’ but ‘I am carrying more than one person is built to carry’?”

The language has changed. It is no longer full of the helper’s life; it is structured, forensic, Socratic. Its mood has shifted from imperative to interrogative, but the questions are closed at the bottom – they have destinations. This is the cognitive layer, and its wager is that suffering rides on meaning: change the appraisal and you change the emotion, and through the emotion, the body. The wager frequently pays. Cognition is genuinely upstream of much misery, and a distorted belief, once caught in the light, loses a measure of its grip.

Yet notice what has not changed. The work still happens entirely within the economy of content. One meaning is exchanged for a better meaning, one story for a more adaptive story. The currency has been revalued, but we are still shopping. Something has genuinely deepened – the inquiry has moved from the person’s circumstances into the person, from the world to the thought about the world – but a thought is a thin slice of a human being. The self who suffers and the self who fixes remain intact, facing each other across the same table, and the rest of the organism – the felt body, the buried history, the wordless knowing that predates every appraisal – waits outside the renovated sentences, untouched.

IV. The Third Layer: The World Beneath the Story

“I notice you said ‘coping’ – as if life were a siege. I find myself wondering who taught you that. You mentioned your father once, almost in passing, when you spoke about your work – and your voice did something just then, similar to when you recounted your basement dream. What is the story you are not telling while you tell this one? I do not know what your stress is. I am not sure you do either – yet. What does it want from you?”

Again the language has transformed, and more radically. It has become slower, stranger, more allusive and interspersed with longer reflective silences. The questions are now open at the bottom – they lead nowhere in particular, which is precisely their power. This is the psychodynamic layer: it does not answer the story but listens beneath it, for the hidden story, the embodied emotional and somatic expressions of the non-verbal, the unsaid, the pattern that repeats across decades wearing different costumes. The interpreter offers no solutions; he offers unexpected connections, and the connections do not close the inquiry but open it. The patient leaves the hour not with answers but with better questions – and better questions are structural renovations, because they enlarge the space in which the mind can move. Where the second layer replaced content, the third layer loosens the grip of content altogether: perspectives widen, associations that were forbidden become thinkable, and the organism – not the intellect, the embodied organism – begins to find pathways it could not find while the official story blocked the road.

The language of this layer is already becoming porous. It gestures more than it states. It has learned to leave gaps – because it has discovered that the healing happens in the gaps.

V. The Fourth Layer

“I don’t know.”

Silence.

Nothing more. And – this is the scandal – nothing more is precisely what is needed. Not the frustrated silence of the helper who has run out of ideas, but the vast, deliberate, inhabited silence of one who has stopped needing ideas. When the patient asks for advice, for a solution, for anything: I don’t know. Let us stay here, with nothing, open to whatever may emerge. The language has completed its trajectory. At the first layer it was full; at the second, structured; at the third, porous; at the fourth it has become almost entirely space. And in parallel, what is being addressed has completed its own trajectory: from the person’s circumstances to her thoughts, to her hidden story, and now – finally – to the whole of her. Not the manager of situations, not the holder of beliefs, not even the teller of untold stories, but the entire living organism: the body with its four-billion-year inheritance, the nervous system with its sedimented history, the awareness in which all of it appears. That totality cannot be advised, cannot be reframed, cannot even be interpreted – it is larger than every instrument the shallower layers possess. It can only be met. What remains of speech is apophatic – it speaks only to unsay, it points only at what cannot be pointed at. The listener is no longer answering, no longer reframing, no longer even interpreting. The listener has become stillness itself, and offers the sufferer the strangest of all gifts: a place where absolutely nothing is required of them – and where, for the first time, nothing less than all of them is welcome; a place where nothing is precisely everything, and in the silence nothing important is left unsaid, left undone.

The remainder of this essay is an attempt to explain why this – the layer at which nothing is said, nothing is solved, and nothing is done – is not the abandonment of healing but its greatest depth.

VI. The Case Against Nothing

The objections deserve to be stated at full strength, because they are serious. First: is this not quietism dressed in therapeutic robes – a sophisticated permission to abandon the patient at exactly the moment she asks for help? Second: is it not nihilism – does the celebration of emptiness not risk confirming the depressed person’s darkest conviction, that nothing matters and nothing can be done? Third: is it not spiritual bypassing – the use of emptiness as an anesthetic, a way to float above the wound rather than enter it? And fourth, the empiricist’s objection: where is the mechanism? “Sit with nothing and be healed” sounds less like medicine than like mystification.

These objections share a single, understandable error: they mistake the fourth layer for the absence of the first three. But the layers are a ladder, not a menu. The silence of the fourth layer is not available as a starting point – offered prematurely, it is indeed abandonment, and offered to acute despair it is indeed dangerous. It becomes medicine only for the one who has climbed through advice and found it a borrowed coat, through reframing and found it redecoration, through interpretation and found even the finest insight to be one more piece of content – one more thing. The fourth layer is not the refusal to help. It is what helping becomes when everything shallower has been honestly exhausted. And nihility, as we shall see, is not the destination but the doorway – the place one must pass through, not the place one is invited to live.

VII. Why Nothing Heals

Consider first what suffering ordinarily makes us do. Pain arrives, and the whole organism organizes itself around a single project: get rid of it. We fight it, flee it, medicate it, analyze it, out-think it, out-run it. Every one of these maneuvers, whatever its surface sophistication, is the same maneuver: the attempt to manage the world of things – to find better content, better meaning, better solutions. And every one of these maneuvers draws its instructions from exactly one source: the past. What we already know. Our conditioning – the archive of everything that has previously worked, previously failed, previously been feared. This includes even the psychodynamic process, albeit to a lesser degree and with greater power of creative renewal. The fixing mind is by construction a retrospective mind. It cannot propose anything it has not, in some form, already met.

This is where the contemplative claim acquires, unexpectedly, a scientific spine. In the predictive-processing account of brain function associated with Karl Friston’s free-energy principle, the brain is not a passive receiver of the world but a ceaseless generator of predictions about it, correcting itself only where reality forces the issue. Perception itself is controlled hallucination disciplined by error; what we experience is largely what we expect, and what we expect is what we have been. Our priors – the accumulated weightings of a lifetime – are the riverbed through which every new moment is channeled. Suffering, in this light, is often not a problem in the riverbed but a problem of the riverbed: the predictions themselves have become the prison, and every effortful attempt to fix, cope, and solve is executed by the very machinery that is malfunctioning – and reinforces it with each execution. It is as if one lived a nightmare and attempted to liberate oneself from it by improving it, instead of waking up from it.

Now watch what the fourth layer does. To sit in profound not-knowing and non-doing – to genuinely surrender the project of fixing – is to withdraw, deliberately and radically, our investment in prediction. It is to stop feeding the priors. It is to suspend the entire retrospective apparatus and expose awareness, undefended, to what the machinery would otherwise have filtered out: the unexpected. The genuinely unexpected – which at first presents itself as noise, as nonsense, as seemingly meaningless and even seemingly mad. This is why the initial territory of the deep layer is so unattractive, and why almost everyone turns back: it is nihility – the cold vertigo of groundlessness, the discovery that beneath the stories there is no floor, the realization that beneath all existence is death and non-existence. The Kyoto School philosopher Keiji Nishitani made precisely this distinction: nihility is the abyss that opens when meaning collapses, when we are faced with the absurd and unacceptable, and stare in the abyss of forsakenness; nothingness is the spacious and generative groundlessness that arises when instead of being fled, nihility is passed through and inhabited until it turns transparent, and the duality of nihility and consciousness are transcended; emptiness is how nothingness lovingly manifests within the web of interdependence of all things. Nihility experienced against existence and life is despair. Nihility consented to, all the way down, opens into a fullness of being that owes nothing to content.

And in that fullness, something happens that no amount of fixing could have produced. The unexpected material – the nonsensical, the unbidden, the apparently crazy – is allowed to play itself out on the widest theater the mind possesses: the spaciousness of stillness and silence. Nothing is grasped, so nothing is prematurely shaped by the old grasping patterns. Connections form that no conditioning would have permitted, because the conditioning has been placed, for once, out of the loop. And from this – not from advice, logic or interpretation – solutions arise that no one supplied. They are not deduced. They are not remembered. They arise, spontaneously, from the depth of unknowing, the way a forgotten name surfaces only after we stop hunting for it. The healing is not an achievement of the will. It is what the organism with its hundreds of thousands of years of evolution does by itself the moment the will, and with it the censor, finally get out of the way.

This is why emptiness heals where effort fails: effort can only rearrange the known, and the known is what is making us ill.

VIII. The Practice of Subtraction

The contemplative traditions converged on this discovery from every direction, which should give the skeptic pause. The Daoists called it wu wei – non-doing, the effectiveness that flows precisely from the abandonment of forcing. Meister Eckhart called it Gelassenheit – equanimity, the letting-be that lets God be, and insisted that the soul must become empty even of its images of God. The apophatic theologians built an entire method on unsaying, holding that the deepest truths are approached only by the systematic negation of everything sayable. Keats, in a letter to his brothers, named the same capacity in the artist: negative capability, the power of “being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason.” And Wilfred Bion, from inside psychoanalysis itself, gave the fourth layer its most austere clinical formulation: the analyst should enter each session without memory or desire – without memory, because memory drags the past across the present; without desire, because desire (even the desire to cure) forecloses what has not yet emerged. Sigmund Freud commented in a similar vein on the psychoanalytic process. Both Bion and Freud understood that the analyst’s knowing is the patient’s ceiling.

Note what all of these are: not techniques of addition but disciplines of subtraction. They train the one capacity our culture never trains – the capacity to refrain and unknow. To not reach. To not know. To not do. And they are training in the strictest sense, for nothing is more difficult. Any beginner can add a practice; it takes years to subtract the practitioner. The muscles of grasping are the oldest muscles we have – they were laid down before language, in an organism whose survival once genuinely depended on ceaseless prediction – and they do not release because we understand, intellectually, that they should. They release only through the long apprenticeship of sitting, again and again, at the edge of the groundless, and discovering, again and again, that the ground was never what was holding us up.

This is also why the fourth layer cannot be counterfeited. Advice can be memorized, reframes can be scripted, even interpretations can be imitated. But a silence is either inhabited or it is not, and the nervous system of the sufferer knows the difference instantly. The only preparation for offering nothing is to have become, oneself, at home in emptiness.

IX. Nothing to Say, Nothing to Solve

So, we arrive at the formula, which reads as despair to the first layer and as freedom to the fourth:

Nothing to say. Nothing to solve. Nothing to do. Nowhere to go. Nobody to be.

Read from the surface, each clause is a door slamming. Nothing to say – the failure of comfort. Nothing to solve – the failure of intelligence. Nothing to do – the failure of agency. Nowhere to go – the failure of escape. Nobody to be – the failure of identity itself. This is the reading the frightened mind performs, and it is why the frightened mind fights so hard at the threshold.

Read from the depth, each clause is a door opening. Nothing to say – and so, at last, the end of the exhausting performance of commentary; the world permitted to be what it is before our verdicts. Nothing to solve – and so the end of life as an emergency; the discovery that this moment, whatever it holds, is not a problem awaiting our administration. Nothing to do – and so the release of the doer, the laying down of a burden carried so long it had been mistaken for a spine. Nowhere to go – and so, for the first time, actual arrival; the only moment ever available, no longer a corridor to a better one. Nobody to be – and so the end of the project of the self, the maintenance of that laborious character we perform even in private; and in its place not a void but an intimacy, an aliveness without an owner, the anonymous awareness in which everything has been appearing all along, the realization that we are the universe unfolding.

The clauses are identical. Only the depth of the reader has changed. And that, finally, is the whole teaching: healing is not the improvement of the story, the mood, or even the self. Healing is the migration of the reader – from the layer where nothing is a wound to the layer where nothing is the medicine.

We spend our lives asking suffering to leave. Suffering was asking us to arrive.

Copyright © 2026 by Dr. Stéphane Treyvaud. All rights reserved.

Silicon Dreams. Carbon Amnesia.

We stand at a peculiar crossroads in history: transfixed by the spectacle of silicon minds assembling themselves from human thought, we have turned our gaze outward toward the machine – and in doing so, turned away from something infinitely stranger and more wondrous. The neuron firing in your visual cortex as you read these words has been refined by 500 million years of ruthless experimentation.

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July 2, 2026

I. The Blind Spot

We stand at a peculiar crossroads in history: transfixed by the spectacle of silicon minds assembling themselves from human thought, we have turned our gaze outward toward the machine – and in doing so, turned away from something infinitely stranger and more wondrous. The neuron firing in your visual cortex as you read these words has been refined by 500 million years of ruthless experimentation. It speaks simultaneously in electrochemical gradients, synaptic geometry, glial whispers, epigenetic memory, and the mysterious way it feels to be you – a language so layered that we have barely begun to translate it. Artificial intelligence, for all its breathtaking mimicry, is a shadow cast by the organic: flat, fast, and legible precisely because it has been stripped of the irreducible complexity that makes life alive. The real frontier was never the one we built. It is the one we inhabit – and have barely looked at. The real moral concern is not AI’s consciousness, as it will forever just be a machine; it is the irreducibly different organic world of biology – life. Substrate matters.

* * *

II. The Flight from the Organic

And yet, rather than turn toward that complexity, we are doubling down on the flight from it. Somewhere deep in the cultural psyche, an ancient archetype is running – a Noah’s Ark for the digital age: the dream that we can load our minds onto servers, colonize Mars, and outrun the fate of being mortal, embodied, and organic. It is a fantasy that the laws of physics greet with indifference. Mars is not an oversight in our evolutionary story; it is simply not within the conditions that made us possible. We are not minds that happen to have bodies. We are bodies that learned to think – and the thinking cannot survive the abandonment of the substrate. 

Meanwhile, mindfulness – which might have been the corrective, the return to the full-bodied, right-hemispheric, emptiness-rooted intelligence that the organism actually runs on – has been quietly colonized by the same left-brain agenda it was meant to interrupt. Stripped of its contemplative roots in what I have coined Core Mind Realigning, it has been repackaged as a cognitive performance tool: stress reduction by spreadsheet, attention training as productivity hack. MBSR, as it is now commonly taught, too often becomes another exercise in mental management rather than a genuine rewiring of the organism’s relationship to itself. The silence at the center – the emptiness that is not absence but generative ground – has been edited out. What remains is technique without transformation: the map sold in place of the territory. Even technique is routinely taught superficially as many of my students coming from elsewhere attest – stripped of the exacting, unhurried rigour that navigating the infinite complexity of the mind demands. Too many practitioners have become more invested in the reductive confidence of evidence-based orthodoxy than in the kind of authentic human engagement that makes living transmission possible. But the deeper problem is one of timescale. The journey toward liberation from suffering is not a course. It is a lifelong apprenticeship – and the willingness to commit to it without horizon is not incidental to the path; it is the path. This is a principle Core Mind Realigning holds at its centre – with rigour, precision and commitment. It is no surprise, then, that people who complete a time-limited MBSR program without further training remain essentially untrained, unable to sustain a meaningful daily practice – because transformation is not an outcome. It is a way of living, a way of patiently walking the thousand-year journey and notice improvement.

* * *

III. The Complexity We Cannot Build

Consider what forgetting life with its organic substrate actually costs. Despite centuries of biochemistry, we have not yet assembled a single living cell from its chemical constituents – not one. The cell remains, in this precise technical sense, beyond us: a self-organizing, self-repairing, meaning-making system of such staggering intricacy that our most sophisticated laboratories can only observe it, never truly replicate it from the ground up. Even if we eventually construct something that qualifies as a living cell, what it would lack is not an ingredient but a history – and four billion years of unbroken evolutionary inheritance is not a detail that any laboratory procedure can retrospectively install. And the cell is merely the beginning. Trees negotiate resource-sharing through fungal networks with a sophistication that shames our internet. Animals navigate, grieve, play, and remember in ways that suggest an interior life we have only begun to take seriously. Ecosystems regulate climate, water, atmosphere, and fertility through feedback loops so interdependent that we cannot yet model them fully – only disturb them. And disturb them we have. Roughly 70% of insect biomass has disappeared within living memory, quietly and almost without public mourning, even though the loss of insects would mean the collapse of the terrestrial ecosystem. The organic world – the only world that actually made us – is being unmade, and we are largely looking elsewhere. Time matters, evolution matters, nature matters – replanted forests have little in common with old growth jungles. Just as a rich broth cannot be hurried – only tended, over hours, until what was raw and separate becomes nourishment – so the untamed processes of the mind yield their healing secrets only under the slow, sustained heat of trained awareness.

This is not only an ecological crisis. It is a crisis of attention – and perhaps, at its root, a crisis of wonder. Where is the mindfulness project equal to this moment? Not the one that teaches you to breathe through a difficult meeting, but the one that rekindles genuine passion for what we are made of – that positions the practitioner not merely as a calmer self, but as a custodian of biological heritage and wisdom. The original invitation of contemplative practice was never stress reduction as its core; it was the direct investigation of the nature of mind and reality – including the emptiness at the heart of both. Quantum biology is now finding that coherence, superposition, and non-locality are not metaphors when applied to living systems – they may be operational realities at the cellular level. The void is not outside biology. It may be biology’s deepest mechanism.

* * *

IV. The Left-Hemisphere Civilization

And what happens to the collective mind when this dimension is foreclosed – when a civilization becomes, structurally and habitually, a left-hemisphere operation? The results are not difficult to observe, and they are not accidental. The left hemisphere, as McGilchrist has meticulously documented, is not unintelligent – it is narrowly, brilliantly, dangerously competent. It categorizes, systematizes, and controls with extraordinary efficiency. What it cannot do is hold complexity without resolving it, tolerate paradox without collapsing it, or remain in relationship with what resists being named. When it becomes the dominant mode of a civilization – not merely a tool but the operating system – the dire consequences ripple outward into every domain of collective life.

Politics becomes the first casualty. Discourse that was once capable of holding tension – the irreducible tension between liberty and solidarity, tradition and renewal, the individual and the commons – hardens into opposed and irreconcilable certainties. Each side constructs an internally consistent worldview devoid of common sense, a closed epistemic system that processes only confirming data and experiences disconfirmation not as information but as attack. This is not disagreement. Disagreement requires a shared ground. What we are witnessing is something closer to parallel realities – each one coherent from within, each one increasingly unable to perceive the other as fully human. Dehumanization does not begin with violence. It begins with the foreclosure of ambiguity.

Religion (from Latin ‘re-ligio’ meaning ‘re-connection’), which at its contemplative root was always an encounter with what cannot be controlled – the groundlessness beneath ground, the silence beneath thought – gets conscripted into the left hemisphere’s project. Mystery becomes doctrine. Paradox becomes heresy. The apophatic tradition, which knew that the deepest truths can only be approached by unsaying, is replaced by literalism: sacred texts read as mindless instruction manuals, transcendence repackaged as tribal identity. God becomes a flag. The infinite becomes a weapon. And those who wield it do so with the serene confidence of people who have mistaken the map for the territory so completely that they have forgotten a territory ever existed.

Power displaces respect because respect requires the recognition of an interior life in the other – and that recognition is a right-hemisphere act. When the right hemisphere’s contribution is diminished, the other becomes a category before they become a person: a demographic, a threat vector, an ideological position. Empathy does not disappear entirely – but it narrows, becomes tribal, and then, in one of the more tragic ironies of our moment, turns against itself in suicidal inevitability. What begins as genuine moral sensitivity curdles, under left-hemisphere management, into a performance of sensitivity – competitive, punitive, and ultimately self-consuming. The result is the tyranny of division, entitlement and indoctrination. Truth becomes dangerous, because it is routinely inconvenient and offensive to the spineless – then gets replaced by the scourge of political correctness. Cultures begin auditing their own histories not with the nuanced grief of people trying to integrate a difficult past, but with the prosecutorial zeal of systems seeking to purge contamination. Here again, the substrate is forgotten, history is forgotten, the sense of identity lost. The result is not healing. It is a new form of the same splitting: the world divided again into pure and impure, victim and oppressor, the saved and the condemned, with the terms simply reversed.

Polarization deepens not because human nature has changed but because the cultural and technological environment now systematically rewards the left hemisphere’s preferred mode: fast, certain, categorical, and emotionally activating in the most reductive sense. Social media does not merely reflect the divided mind – it selects for it, amplifies it, and profits from it. The algorithm has no investment in wisdom. It has an investment in engagement, which is to say, in the kind of arousal that forecloses reflection. We have built, at civilizational scale, a machine that feeds the part of us least capable of governing wisely – and then expressed bewilderment at the quality of our governance.

What is missing – what has always been missing from political discourse conducted entirely within the left hemisphere’s jurisdiction – is the capacity McGilchrist calls 'Aufhebung': The ability to hold opposites in a higher synthesis without destroying either pole. This is not compromise in the weak sense – the splitting of differences – but genuine dialectical movement, the kind that requires sitting with discomfort long enough for something new to emerge. It is, not coincidentally, precisely what contemplative practice trains. The still point is not politically neutral. The capacity to remain present with what is unresolved, to resist the premature closure of complexity into slogan – this is a civic faculty as much as a personal one. Its absence is not just a spiritual problem. It is a governance crisis.

* * *

V. The Return

And yet – and this is the turn that neither the political left nor right can quite bring itself to make – the remedy is not more analysis. It is not a better ideology, a more refined critique, or a superior epistemic framework. The left hemisphere cannot think its way out of dominant left-hemispheric insanity. The exit is not through the same door. What is required is a return – not a nostalgic one, but a radical one, in the original sense of radix: root. A return to the substrate. To the body that breathes without being asked. To the forest floor where a single teaspoon of soil contains more microbial organisms than there are human beings on earth. To the silence that is not the absence of noise but the generative presence of something prior to noise – the ground state from which experience arises and to which, in deep practice, it returns.

This is what the organic world has always been quietly offering. Not consolation. Not escape. But scale – the humbling, orienting scale of a complexity so vast and so intimate that it cannot be othered. You cannot stand in genuine relationship with an old-growth forest, with the mycelial network threading beneath your feet, with the migratory intelligence of a bird navigating by magnetic field and star – and remain entirely inside the left hemisphere’s jurisdiction. Something shifts. The boundary between self and world becomes, not dissolved, but permeable. This is not mysticism as an add-on to biology. This is biology, perceived at the depth it deserves.

The contemplative traditions knew this long before neuroscience had the instruments to confirm it. The Zen master pointing at the moon was not making a metaphysical claim – he was performing a corrective, redirecting attention from the symbol to the thing, from the map to the living territory. The Buddhist teaching on śūnyatā – emptiness – was never a nihilistic statement about the unreality of the world. It was a precise phenomenological observation: that all phenomena, including the self, arise interdependently, without fixed essence, in a web of mutual conditionality that modern ecology recognizes under a different name. The Buddha and the mycologist are, at some level, describing the same discovery. The cell membrane and the Markov blanket are, at some level, encoding the same ancient problem: where does self end and world begin, and what does it mean that the answer is always – here, and not quite here.

Core Mind Realigning we practice in our meditation programs at The Mindfulness Centre – the full-spectrum return to embodied, right-hemisphere-inclusive, emptiness-rooted awareness – is not, then, a wellness intervention. It is a reorientation to reality. It asks not merely “how do I manage my stress” but “what am I, actually, and what world am I embedded in.” It trains the capacity to tolerate not-knowing long enough for genuine knowing to arise – the kind that includes the body, the relational field, the silence beneath thought, the intricate aliveness of the organism that has been, all along, doing something far more extraordinary than anything we have yet programmed a machine to do.

* * *

VI. The Frontier We Forgot

We are not at the dawn of intelligence. We are, if anything, at a moment of reckoning with how much of it we have ignored. The intelligence that assembled the human eye, that coordinates the immune response, that allows a murmuration of starlings to move as a single fluid mind without a conductor – this intelligence does not fit in a prompt. It does not run on servers. It also does not require the optional imaginative maneuver of engaging in an intimate relationship with a divine creator. It ‘simply’, yet astoundingly runs on carbon, water, time, and a set of thermodynamic constraints so precise that the margin for life, in the universe we can observe, appears almost impossibly narrow. We are that margin. We are what happened when matter became curious about itself – and the least we owe that fact is attention.

The mindfulness project, at its fullest, is nothing less than this: the cultivation of a quality of attention adequate to the complexity we actually inhabit. Not the attention that optimizes, extracts, and moves on – but the attention that stays, that deepens, that allows the world to become strange and specific and irreplaceable again. The trees are still communicating. The genome is still, in every cell division, copying three billion base pairs with an error rate that would humiliate any human engineer. The glia are still doing something in the brain that we do not yet fully understand. The emptiness at the heart of matter is still – against all our productivity – simply here and, if you prefer, simply God in its incomprehensible essence. God does not have to be posited separately. This very ordinary embodied moment is extraordinary beyond imagination when we know how to look closely – it is God’s magnificent incarnation. 

We did not need to build a mind. We need to inhabit the embodied one we have – and wake up, at last, to the world it arose from.

Copyright © 2026 by Dr. Stéphane Treyvaud. All rights reserved.

Automaticity of the human mind

Human function, action, cognition and behavior under the lens of automaticity

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May 22, 2025

Every novice meditator must understand the mind’s inherent automaticity, forged over eons of evolution to secure survival. The brain, the most intricate structure in the known universe, gives rise to the mind, whose elaborate workings unfold as the most profound phenomenon we can encounter. This complexity reveals our vast potential for self-deception, emphasizing the urgent need to avoid harmful habits early in practice. Cultivating a precise and resilient technical foundation is vital for navigating the mind’s labyrinthine depths. Let us briefly explore the scope of this automaticity, a formidable force we confront as we seek to understand our lives.

Estimating the exact percentage of human action and functioning that is automatic and not conscious is tricky, as it depends on how we define "action," "functioning," and "conscious." However, research in psychology and neuroscience suggests that a significant portion of human behavior and physiological processes operates outside conscious awareness.

1.     Physiological Functions: Most bodily processes—like heart rate, breathing, digestion, and reflexes—are automatic and controlled by the autonomic nervous system. These account for the vast majority of "functioning" in terms of rawprocesses. If we consider all bodily functions (including cellular processes),conscious control might apply to less than 1% of total activity, as most biological operations are involuntary.

2.  Behavioral and Cognitive Actions: When it comes to behavior, decision-making, and cognition, studies suggest that a large portion is driven by automatic processes:

- Psychologist Daniel Kahneman, in his work on System 1 (fast, automatic) and System 2 (slow, deliberate) thinking, suggeststhat System 1 dominates much of our daily behavior. Estimates vary, but someresearchers propose that 95% or more of cognitive processes (e.g., snapjudgments, habits, and intuitive reactions) are automatic.

- Studies on priming and implicit bias (e.g., by John Bargh) show that many decisions, from simple motor actions to complex social behaviors, are influenced by unconscious cues.

- Habitual behaviors, like driving a familiarroute or typing, often occur with minimal conscious input once learned.

3.     Conscious vs. Unconscious Balance: While no precise percentage is universally agreed upon, some neuroscientists estimate that 90–95% of brain activity is unconscious, based on the volume of neural processes handling sensory input, motor control, and background cognition. Conscious actions—like deliberateproblem-solving or focused attention—make up a smaller fraction, perhaps 5–10%of mental activity.

Rough General Estimate: If we combine physiologicaland behavioral aspects, roughly 90–95% of human "action and functioning" (broadly defined) is likely automatic and not conscious. Thisvaries by context—routine tasks lean more automatic, while novel or complex tasksrequire more conscious effort.

Copyright © 2025 by Dr. Stéphane Treyvaud. All rights reserved.

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